Positive Speak Brings Abundance

I believe we all truly want to succeed in life. Correct me if I’m wrong here. I overhear people around me saying things such as,

“I’m in debt.”

“I can’t afford such and such”

“Business is slow”

“I don’t have enough”

“I just can’t get ahead”

Many of us understand this and have probably said these things ourselves. These statements may be true but they don’t change things. So how do you attract abundance into your life?

I am taking a business course and I have been reading many articles about success. I am also currently teaching a class about relationships; intimate, interpersonal, and business. Everything I seem to encounter comes down to one very important point.

Get rid of the negative speak.

People are more attracted to people who are positive. They carry a sense of self-worth and confidence that others find attractive. They are more likely to get a good job and have more opportunities come to them. These characteristics bring forth abundance. People like to help others that they feel would make a positive impact on this world. Why would you support someone who is constantly down or negative? You may feel sorry for them, but probably not likely to offer them a job.

As well, if you believe in the law of attraction, then you will understand that positive speak brings positive action. The negative speak only perpetuates the inevitable continuation of failure, guilt, and shame, not to mention continued blockage of achieving abundance.

Abundance is about knowing there is a constant flow of love in life. Many block this flow because of feelings of not being worthy, fear of failure, or scarcity by holding what they have for fear of losing it. Be bold. Trust. Let go and know that you will receive as much as you give. It wasn’t until I started giving back 10% of my wages to organizations I wanted to support, and giving my time in volunteering, that I was able to unlock my block. The flow began.

I encourage you to see where your blocks are by diving deep toward those areas of negativity and fear. This is a door with an opportunity on the other side.

Money is merely a form of energy exchange. Our world is driven by this form of energy, and by giving in other forms, you too can receive it. You are worthy of achieving success. Start by talking positive and receiving fully words of encouragement.

Good luck! You can do it! Achieve success.

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Love is a Funny Thing; 15 Steps to a Healthy Relationship

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We have all hopefully experienced love. I have had my share of relationships and I’ve learned a great deal about myself through each one. Looking back I feel silly for some of the things I said, did, and the ways in which I dealt with conflict. I see the ways I searched and grabbed for things in others that I felt I lacked myself. I played out past family experiences, trauma, and grief through relationship. I noticed that I gave too much of myself thinking this was unconditional love. It was not. I was definitely blind, yet, I feel blessed to have had these relationships and that I chose to do my personal work and grow from each.

I would not have gotten through these processes if I hadn’t found self-trustworthiness and self-compassion. My critic was a harsh voice. Always ready to make me feel like I was BAD or WRONG or a FAILURE. This critic just needed to be held and loved, like any scared child.

Most recently I learned how to face my critic, face my fears, and learned how to let go and trust. The critic comes with fear. It can be scary to face our demons or shadow side. I finally learned how to step back and observe the situation before reacting to it.I learned that in this observation I was able to hear my critic, my inner scared child and cradle it.

I am truly grateful to each person that tried their best to love me and support me throughout this process. I now move forward feeling stronger and more confident in the person I am. I hold both my beauty and my beast with equal love and compassion. The voice, the critic, got smaller, softer, and more loving.

The point is, I have learned very valuable lessons in relationship and thought I would share some with you:

  • Breath. Let the first emotion settle and notice what emotions follow. If you react to the first emotion, how will you ever know what follows, what goes deeper? I have learned this the hard way. Conscience breathing also helps relieve the emotions of grief/sadness. (side note: More on the gratitude of breath at a later date)
  • Be observant of how a situation or conflict is affecting you and ASK, “Is this emotional reaction congruent with the given situation?”
  • Be patient. Everyone is learning.
  • Love yourself, trust yourself. You must be able to do this or you won’t be able to fully trust or see another person for who they are. If there is any bit of doubt about your own integrity, you will see that reflection in your partner and will probably not trust them.
  • Have compassion for yourself and others. We all have our circumstances, our stories, and the reasons we are the way we are. Seeing everyone, and yourself, from the lens of compassion creates a healing space and shows empathy. That changes the ball game completely.
  • Listen to yourself and ask: Are my basic needs being met? If not, what do I need? Sometimes when you feel irritable or notice the reaction of your partner to the way you are responding to a situation, this is a good time to ask these questions. Often times we just need something simple/basic like food, sleep, or affection. Listen to the other person. Reflect back to them what you heard, so that clarity in communication becomes more apparent. We all speak different languages and sometimes what we hear is not what the person meant to express. Clarify this before reacting.
  • Be vulnerable. If you can’t show yourself to your partner, how do you know they truly love YOU? YOU deserve to be loved so remember that if that person does not like what they see, then there is someone else out there that will see your beauty and beast, and love you just they way you are.
  • Be honest. Honesty without compassion is violence. You can speak your truth without being mean. Likewise, being afraid to say your truth for fear of rejection means….well….equal and opposite reaction. So be careful. Honesty brings transparency. Transparency is important. And important for trust.
  • Give and receive equally in the way each prefers to receive and show love. (Side note: you have to communicate and find out their wants/needs). The 5 Love Languages: Words of affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. http://www.5lovelanguages.com/
  • Play! Have fun! My mentor says 80/20. 80% enjoyment, 20% work.
  • Attention, Acceptance, Appreciation, Affection, and Allowing. The book that really made a big impact on my life in relationship with myself and others is: How to Be An Adult in Relationships; The Five Keys to Mindful Loving. by David Richo. http://davericho.com/

Now I am ready to receive love fully and give love fully because I know myself, my needs, my wants. I now trust myself and have confidence to only except someone who reflects my own beauty, while supporting and uplifting the other in his/her work and dreams. I believe a healthy relationship is one where each person already has all their needs met within themselves, and is able to meet another face to face, to uplift and support each other in achieving their dreams….and to have fun with, of course.

I know the beauty of a healthy relationship now. It is simple, easy, gently, and smooth in 80% of all movement and in stillness. When conflict arises, we each choose to listen, hear, and understand, and then come to a win-win, so we can be a team while moving through the fire. And when we come out on the other side successful, and still together, we grow closer and stronger. It is a beautiful thing. Hold it as sacred and precious.

Hold yourself as sacred and precious, because you are!

Use or Misuse of Power

This weeks conversations have been about the use of power. When a person or company is in a position of power, how do they use it?

Is it for the betterment of society or for betterment of personal self?

A true leader carries the 3 Powers: (Right use of Power)

  • Power of Position
  • Power of Presence
  • Power of Communication

A selfish leader can fall for the 3 Temptations in Leadership: (Misuse of Power)

  • Sex
  • Money
  • Power it’s self

Have you seen any of this in politics? Within spiritual leadership even?

Unfortunately, many seem to think that politics are corrupt and typical for a leader to fall into the misuse of power. Does it have to be this way? It’s kind of sad, really. What do we choose to stand for and against?

I feel one of the worst cases of misuse of power is when a spiritual leader falls into this deadly place. Individuals look to these people for strength and guidance for their souls. For instance, the Popes or Bikram.

Imagine if you held create respect and looked up to a leader who falls into a power trip. How would that leave you feeling? I can imagine feelings of being duped, taken advantage of, disrespected, and the list goes on.

A great leaders such as Gandhi or M.L.K. Jr were able to hold the 3 Powers of a true leader. Mahatma Gandhi said that seven things will destroy us.

  • Wealth without Work
  • Pleasure without Conscience
  • Knowledge without Character
  • Commerce (business) without Morality (Ethics)
  • Science without Humanity
  • Spirituality without Sacrifice
  • Politics without Principle

So what distinguishes the great leaders of integrity with those that fall into selfish-driven powers? Each is daily faced with challenges and temptations. So, do they fall for them or stand strong?

Character. Patrick O’Neill describes character qualities of a quality leader having:

  • Integrity
  • Presence
  • Commitment
  • Honesty
  • Courage
  • Perseverance
  • Self Respect
  • Authenticity
  • Dependability
  • Trustworthiness

If our leaders are not integral and making choices for the betterment of our society, why do we follow or support them? We have choice, always. Yet, some people feel stuck in their jobs for fear of job loss, yet they work for someone who they do not trust or support. Hard position to be in. This is where the “small” people can also stand in leadership for those around them (colleagues) and stand for what is right and true. Have courage to stand up against the misuse of power and walk through the fire. You will find support and be uplifted.