I’m scared

“I’ve never ventured this territory before”, she says timidly.
“I mean, I feel so socially awkward, as if I am in a familiar place, yet I have a different body, and mind, and maybe soul, even.”

Then she paused, deep in thought.

She then confirmed, “No, same soul. The essence of my being is the same, I just feel like I have changed and trying to figure out how to feel in my body. Like being in a state of transition which feels like water under my feet. I see progress as life around me continues to reflect beauty and ease- that is what I have asked for, what I have worked toward. Now I find myself learning to embody all of this wonderful change, all if this newness. It is almost like getting to know myself all over again. Who am I? I knew myself before, but now, things are different. I make decisions in a new way, which means different responses, and so, I step into new territory. I am relearning myself. It’s scary. I see what is coming for me, what I am stepping into, and I never thought…I guess…I never really thought it would come true. I’m scared. Scared of what impact I can have. My deepest fears, fear of failure and fear of success, are standing right in front of me. And I get to choose. I know I choose success these days which means I have to step over the threshold, step into the open door, step into the light…and it is scary. I pray, and deep down I know it will happen, that when I jump off this cliff, that I am going to fly.”

Deep breath.

Advertisements